There is No Excuse

Brandon here again!!!! I have something I have to get off of my chest today.

On occasions more often than not, I hear the conversations of MANLY men in my office building, the gym locker room, and many other places that guys talk. Beyond football, NASCAR, business transactions, hunting leases, and small talk, I hear something that really bothers me. I hear these MANLY men complain about how they couldn't finish watching "the game" because they had to BABYSITT their kids. It just infuriates me when I hear this. They are YOUR kids that you helped bring into this world, so why oh why would you call it babysitting?

The MANLY men, who walk around beating on their chests like they just field dressed a deer on the hood of their truck........in a business suit! LOL. It just really bothers me that some (not most or all) guys seem to think that fatherhood just means that their only responsibility is to put food on the table, but not much else. It almost seems as if it is an inconvenience to them to spend quality time with their families. I know that sounds a little extreme, but that is the overall tone of the conversations I hear.

I absolutely dread cutting my grass, especially with a push mower, but it is what it is. It normally takes me about an hour and half to cut all of my grass, so to me, that is an hour and half I could be playing with my kids. I already work about 10 hours a day during the work week, so my time at home during the week is very limited. Since I can't press the pause button to do chores or conquer the honey-do lists, I try my best to tie them together. Case and point - the pictures you see.
Marley has a great time laughing and playing while I pull her in her wagon all over the yard. She is happy because she is next to me and she gets to ride around, I am happy because she is enjoying herself, and I get the grass cut at the same time, and Elisa is happy because she gets little break, and can recharge her batteries a bit.

All I am trying to say is the MANLY men need to actually MAN UP!! Sometimes you have to be willing to try something different to get different results. I am just tired of hearing excuses like "The game is on", and "I just got home from work" to get out of doing what is the most important job they have....being fathers. Yes, I like watching sports, yes I have my own hobbies, yes I work very hard (and occasionally get stressed out) at my job, I am not a hypocrite. But I know that Miles and Marley are reading me, they are watching my every move, and learning from my behaviors....so yes, I will drop what I am doing for them just to let them know that they are my #1 priority (under my wife) and that I want to care for them. Even when I have bad days at work, I try my best to put a good game face on for them and leave work at work. Hopefully, if I do this thing right, my kids will remember how important they were to me and when they have kids they will do the same.

So for you MANLY men who can't EVER turn off NFL Network, have become slaves to the Xbox/Playstation/Wii Gods, or say they are just plain too tired........MAN UP, and do your job......THERE IS NO EXCUSE.

Out of touch.................

Brandon here!!! So the other day Miles comes home from school and says "Daddy I have a note from school". Automatically I am thinking "Great, his teacher wants to inform me he is misbehaving"......but no, he hands me this note to read and to my surprise it is from a girl. A note from a 7 year-old girl (keep in mind Miles is 5) and it has her phone number on it!!! I was speechless. Not because of the note, but because I was SOPHOMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL before I got a girl's phone number!!! LOL. Almost immediately that old Hall & Oates song "Your out of Touch" started playing in my head.

I don't know if I have become naive, if this is my reality to remind me I am getting old, or both! Now I know that the note is a totally innocent and sweet gesture, but I don't remember kids being this advanced (aggressive even) at their ages. I was too worried about Legos and Lincoln Logs back then to think about girls. But I have to look at like this too: Internet, Cable, Ipods, sup'd up gaming systems, all these things we have come to love and enjoy were not around back in the day. All the technology obviously advances as time marches on, so why wouldn't our kids advance right along with it? I mean, Miles was able to navigate to the Playhouse Disney website all on his own at age 3, while to this day I still can't successfully set the time on a VCR........if I still used one it would still blank "12:00" till the end of time.

So maybe I am not terribly out of touch after all, but I might still take his bedroom door off of the hinges for good measure! LOL!

Four Little Angels

A few months ago, we were surprised with a positive pregnancy test. WHAT?! Yes, I was pregnant! The emotions were all over the place. I couldn't believe the two little lines that popped up on that little stick. I have seen those two lines five times in my life. Five times. Five times I cried and thought of clever ways to tell Brandon he was going to be a Daddy. Five times I thanked God for the little baby He was growing inside of me. Five times I have thought of my belly growing, the baby that would soon join us and if it was a boy or a girl. Five times.
We didn't want to announce our surprise pregnancy until I was past the first trimester. I was so sick the first few weeks, I didn't think I would make it without someone noticing. At 11 weeks pregnant, just a week from our big announcement, we found out we have one more angel. That makes four. Four Little Angels.
With every miscarriage I have grown. Our first angel was our very first pregnancy. We were so excited and told everyone we knew. Weeks later, we grieved. I was so hurt. I didn't understand why it happened. Our second angel was right after we began the adoption process. We were a bit surprised by the pregnancy, but were so excited. Again, we told everyone. We saw the heartbeat on an ultrasound and felt secure that the pregnancy would last. After another routine ultrasound, we found out that we now had two little angels.
That second miscarriage shook me. It made me realize who my friends were. Friends who I thought were my core and my support system, weren't there. They showed more sympathy to their friends who had wisdom teeth pulled. It was very difficult for me, but it made me realize that I needed to rely on my God and my husband for support and comfort.
That second angel did a lot for me. I became a little more, okay a lot more guarded with my time. I didn't give that time or effort to people, things or events that didn't lift me up. I am sure I made a lot of people mad, but I needed to clean out the closet. I needed to clean out the people I called friends, and I wasn't sure why. I quit worrying about what people thought, not in an "I'm going Gothic" way, but in a Godly way. I was caught up in the business of hosting everyone's baby shower, surprise birthday parties, house warming parties, bible studies, small groups and play groups. I had to be in the middle of everything because I didn't want to let anyone down. I wasn't worried about pleasing God, I was worried about pleasing people. In a way, I am glad that that miscarriage helped me to see that I cannot rely on others to fill my needs. They will fail you every time. I was looking for people (my family, church family and friends) to comfort me, when it was God that I needed to seek out.
Angel number three was an angel before we knew it. I will never forget it, it was on my 3oth birthday. We kept it to ourselves, and continued in our adoption process.
Angel number four. You bring tears to my eyes. We didn't know you were coming, and quite honestly we were shocked to find out. We didn't share your news, to protect the hearts of the ones we love. Your heartbeat brought us hope, so tiny...yet it still fluttered. The sickness I felt made me confident that you would be joining our family. Still the fear of loosing you kept me from getting too excited. After about two months, I let my heart accept you. I started to wonder if you were a boy or a girl. What would your name be? Would we use another M name? Would I really have three kids? I started going through Marley's baby clothes, putting things aside. I started looking at double strollers and finding your spot in the minivan. I was planning our future, as a family of five. We thought of creative ways to announce our news. We had just made our parent's get webcams so we could see their faces when we told them they would have another grandchild.
It's only been two weeks, but already I feel like I have grown through this. I appreciate my children even more. Every parent loves their children. I have always been pretty crazy about mine, but after this...they are so so much more precious. They are both truly gifts! I also have accepted that we will not have anymore biological children. I truly feel comfortable saying that, almost like a relief. It's not something I am sad about, quite opposite. I am happy to say that childbearing, for us, is a thing of the past.
These past few weeks have also made me want to live life more, to quit making excuses. I am going on a mission trip to Uganda in June. We are taking our family to Mardi Gras!
There are a few explanations as to why I keep making angels, but really when it comes down to it...to me, it doesn't matter. It's done. I have always cherished my sweet boy, but now more than ever. Miles was the only one out of five that I get to hold! What a gift! Marley, well I don't even need to explain what a blessing and gift she is. One miracle born of the body, one miracle born in my heart, and four sweet angels. My heart is full!

Readoption Day

Today was a success! This morning we met our attorney at the court house. Brandon and I sat in a little lobby full of adoptive families not sure what to expect, but anticipating tears. For those not familiar with the adoption process, a friend of mine put it best when she said "it's like getting married twice." Marley was already adopted legally in Ethiopia. But in order for us to get a U.S. birth certificate and then citizenship, we needed to readopt her here in the states.
It was a quick and pleasant hearing. There were only a few people in the court room. Marley sat in the lap of the Guardian at Litem. He was a friendly man, and Marley decided his lap was more entertaining that ours, so there she was. They doodled on paper the entire time. The lawyer asked Brandon a bunch of questions, to which he answered "yes" to and then the judge smiled very kindly to us and proclaimed that Sifen would now be named Marley Haset. We chose the name Haset, which is Amaric, because it means joy. We will be getting her Missouri birth certificate in the mail in the next few months. I cried. Of course.
So today, Marley was adopted again!

Miles' First Day of Kingergarten

On August 19, 2010 Miles had his first day of Kindergarten. He was so excited to go and to get to ride the bus with all the neighborhood kids. Mommy did cry, but only for a minute. He did so good and we are very proud of our Kindergartener!

Our Summer

Where have I been? Why haven't I been blogging? Well there isn't a great excuse, other than being a Mommy! Seriously though, great summer time in our house!
We became a minivan family! We sold our 4Runner and paid CASH for our new to us Minivan. We LOVE it and can't believe it took us this long to become one!

We had a great visit from Nonnie and Papa.


The kids and I drove up to St. Louis for a weekend for our agency's Reunion Picnic. I got to meet many blog friends and reunite with a few of the children we saw while in Ethiopia.
I met Alida, whose son looks so much like Miles.
Marley got to see Ru again! And Miles got to spend time with Biscut! Then we all drove back to Springfield and ate at Lambert's. Good times.
The garden is doing amazing! I will be canning another years supply of tomatoes, along with maybe a years supply of carrots and green beans. I also learned how to harvest and dry herbs and cure and store onions and potatoes! Yay me! Next years garden is going to be awesome!
Marley is officially a walker! She started taking steps in June and by the end of July she was trying to run. Sweet girl!

One Year Ago Today...

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Family Pictures 2010

Marley at 12 Months

Wow how fast that went! Marley is one and on target for her age! She caught up so so quickly and we couldn't be any more proud of our sweet girl! She is still small for her age, but the doctor says it's her height that throws it off. She is still not on the U.S. chart for height, but her weight is just fine for how long she is. Confusing, I know. But nothing to be alarmed about. We just have a short little girl. So at 12 months, Miss Marley is:

• Crawling on all fours
• Pulling up and cruising around
• Walks while holding our hands
• Says Mama, Dada, NiNi (night night), Nana (Banana)
• She learned the sign for sleep and for bath
• She is done with baby food
• She has 3 1/2 teeth
  
• 18.5 lbs. and 26 inches long

It's amazing that she has made so much progress. When we brought her home at 6 1/2 months old, she was like a newborn, just learning to hold her head up! Yay Marley!
We finished our second post adoption visit and are now on the path for readoption. Since Mar Mar came home as a resident and not a citizen, we have to readopt her here in the U.S. in order to gain citizenship. It's not required, but will make her adult life easier. We also plan to be the first family in our county to do it ourselves, without a lawyer. We will see how that goes!
We are quickly approaching the day that Miss Marley has been with us longer than she hasn't. What joy she has brought into all of our lives!

Mommy & Marley 6 months old

Mommy & Marley 12 months old

Happy Birthday Mar Mar!

My baby girl is no so much a baby anymore. I, like all mothers, will call her my baby for all of her life. We celebrated Marley's birthday with a picnic style party at one of our many local parks. Marley had fun playing on a blanket and showing off her huge birthday bow with pride. She liked the cake, but like big brother, she just kind of messed over it. No big cake mess in our family...lol! She received a lot of really nice toys, all of which make noise. I love it! What a special day in our house. Miss Marley is one year old!