Why do I go? Is it for them or for me? I promise it's not why you think. A lot of times I hear people tell me that what I do is admirable. That they wish they could do something so profound, or that they had the desire to make a difference.
Why am I so on fire for missions? Why do I travel twice a year to Africa to love on kids and serve communities and ministries? For me. Yes, the "selfless" Christian woman that some of you see when you see the videos or pictures of my trips is not who you think she is.
I love missions because they help me to become more of the woman I desire to be. They show me that my life is okay. I learn to have more faith by watching those with nothing have more faith than I'll ever know. I love how I am challenged to grow deeper. Advocating for the fatherless and ministries that are getting it right makes me smile. I never knew that cooking a feast for 500 kids could be so rewarding! I love how fast a team becomes a team! I LOVE watching team members experience this all for the first time.
I recall my first trip to Uganda. I thought I was going to change the world with my hair bows. Granted, the kids loved them. But It's really my world that was changed. God uses short term mission trips to open the eyes and hearts of people to build His kingdom! We don't change the world. We change our hearts. We build relationships.
Right before every trip, I feel inadequate. I feel like I am in no position to be leading a team spiritually, or that I am "good enough" to be called a missionary. And every time, God shows up. He gives me the skills and abilities that I need just when I need them.
I believe that God gives us James 1:27 for us. He wants us to grow closer to Him. By being obedient when He says "Go," we open up the flood gates for His blessing on our lives!