Three

It is so hard to believe that my tiny Ethiopian Princess is growing up so fast.  And boy is she a Princess!  Everything pink for her please!  We had a huge birthday celebration, even tho I am desperately trying to scale down birthday celebrations in our family.  Both grandmothers were here and so was my brother.

Marley's birthday, ironically, fell on Mother's Day this year.  I very vividly remember Mother's Day of 2009.  At that point, our adoption journey had been over 3 years.  We started trying to adopt through Foster Care, and eventually joined the international adoption community hoping to adopt from Ethiopia.  Our paperwork had been in Ethiopia for 10 months.  Looking back, that wasn't that bad, but we were told it would be just a few months.

We went to church on Mother's Day.  The pastor asked for all the mothers to stand and everyone applauded.  I crouched down in my chair and pouted. No balled!  I was already a mother to the most amazing little boy ever.  But my heart hurt for the little girl that I knew was out there, and at the time the Ethiopian adoption program was starting to look like it was going to close to U.S. adoptions.  I thought I was going unnoticed, until another adoptive mother nudged me from behind and told me to stand up…I was a mother.  I reluctantly stood, and then quickly returned to my pouting.

When reading my blog posts from that time, I am so thankful to not be there anymore.  Oh my goodness!  But there is another part to this story!

Marley, my sweet Marley Haset, was mine.  While the circumstances of her coming to me were not ideal, she was still always meant to be mine.  I carried her in my heart, I prayed for her and her birth family.  The Lord prepared me for her arrival, in an amazing adoptive mommy way.  He gave me a dream!  Her birth mother labored, and delivered her.  I admire that.  He also gave her a dream.  A dream of something better for her tiny one…life.

What a Mother's Day gift, then, now and always.  Marley's birth will always be celebrated in our home, as will Mother's day.  How amazing is that?!  I get to celebrate the birth of my daughter, being a mother and celebrating the mother that gave me my daughter all in one day!  I am blessed!   

Attached

Attachment parenting is a big topic in the adoption community, as it should be.  After being home with Marley for almost 2 1/2 years, I sometimes forget where we came from and how far we've come.  I haven't opened up about this until now for many reasons.  First, I didn't want to publicly admit that our daughter wasn't attached to us upon arriving home from Ethiopia.  The busyness of our lives didn't really allow me time to process it and then blog about it.  And finally, I truly needed over two years to see how much progress we have made.

We had read all the books, taken the classes and were very familiar with what an attached child and and unattached child looks like.  The excitement of welcoming a new baby into our home overcame us and accepting that our attachment was "less than perfect" was hard.  Nonetheless, we chose to utilize attachment parenting to help her bond to us and know that we were here for keeps.

What in the heck is attachment parenting?  As related to adoption, it's a method for creating a sense of security, familiarity, consistency and unconditional love.  For our family, we choose to be the only ones that held, changed and fed Marley for about 4-6 months.  After that, we allowed her to go to the nursery at church and stay at home with babysitters.  I carried her in a sling most of the day.  If she cried at night, I quickly ran to meet her needs.  I wanted her to know that I was going to meet her needs, and I wasn't going away.

Marley had never formed an attachment, it was foreign to her.  I recall being handed this perfect, tiny, happy baby and thinking, "well that wasn't so bad."  Not even two minutes later, I could see that she didn't know what it was like to be cuddled, held or loved.  She wouldn't lay her head down on my chest or shoulder.  If I tried to hold her to me, she'd squirm away, awkwardly holding her head up, as if to say, "your too close lady!"  We would try to rock her to sleep and she wouldn't have it.  She wanted to be put down and fall asleep on her own.  I know, some of you are thinking "what a dream!"  But that's all Marley knew, a box and pillow and a propped up bottle.  No holding, no cuddling, no loving.  At the age of 6 months old, she had learned not to trust adults and was relying on herself.

After we came home, she would go to anyone.  She has always been a "social butterfly," but she would go to anyone.  As if she didn't miss me.

That's where the sling came in.  I wanted Marley to know what closeness felt like.  She needed to know that I'm here and I love her.  I'm not going anywhere.  I strapped her in that sling and that's where she spent a good part of her days.  She would still hold her head back, and fought me when it was nap time.  The good thing is I am just a tiny bit more stubborn that she is.  I used attachment parenting to help Marley attach to me as her mother.  She needed to know it was okay to trust me, I'm here to stay.

As time would go by, we would jump up and down for the little milestones we'd make as a family.  The first time Marley fell asleep in my arms was a BIG DEAL!  She was about a year old.  When she was tired, she would lay her head on my shoulder briefly…I was soaking it up!

So Two and a half years later, my tiny, happy girl is attached!  I'm sure she has been for quite some time, but with adoption we always have to be aware of it.  Marley LOVES to be cuddled!  She loves to crawl into bed with me and curl up in my arms.  I have a hard time dropping her off to pre-school because she wants Mommy to stay with her.  While she is still and will probably always be a "social butterfly," when it comes down to it, it's Mommy that she wants!

So Two and a half years later, my tiny, happy girl is attached!  I'm sure she has been for quite some time, but with adoption we always have to be aware of it.  Marley LOVES to be cuddled!  She loves to crawl into bed with me and curl up in my arms.  I have a hard time dropping her off to pre-school because she wants Mommy to stay with her.  While she is still, and will probably always be, a "social butterfly," when it comes down to it, it's Mommy that she wants!

Another Marley Moment...

Oh Baby Spice, what would I do if I didn't have you?  

I Didn't Grow up a MK, PK or go to Bible College

Mission work is my calling.  What it will look like in the next five or ten years, I have no idea.  But I do know that I am where I am supposed to be right now!  It feels good, and it scares the crap out of me at the same time!  I don't have missionary blood.  I'm not a sixth generation missionary.  I didn't grow up on the soil of a mission field.  I didn't even know that there were such things as short term mission trips until just a few years ago.  

Let me give you a brief history.  I grew up a Navy Brat, my father was in the Navy for 22 years.  We traveled quite a bit.  We were Lutheran, and attended various churches mainly on holidays until I was in high school.  I was taught the Lords Prayer at an early age, participated in advent and lent.  I attended Catholic school, and was confirmed Catholic.  The next year I was confirmed Lutheran.  But it was more of just going thru the motions.  I never felt like it was me that was making the decisions and there was no real relationship.

Shortly after Brandon and I met, we started attending a new church together.  We rededicated our lives together and got baptized at the beach.  We were young, but on fire for God.  After being in our pastors small group for a few years, we began leading small groups in our home.  Brandon and I have held various leadership roles in the churches we have belonged to.  

I did not grow up a Missionary Kid (MK).  I was not a Pastor's Kid (PK).  Nor had I ever heard of these terms until just a few years ago.  I have no formal "religous" training and I have not attended Bible College or Seminary.  But I have something greater…a fire in my heart, Jesus.  He has given me everything I need.  He has used my history, my circumstances, and my abilities and passions to grow me into what He wanted me to be…a servant to Him.  

My road to leading short mission teams has been a long one.  Since the Purpose Driven Life book, I have been praying and seeking my calling, my role.  And every new venture, I thought was it.  Parenting. Teaching.  Non-Profit work.  Owning a Business.  I have crazy passions for poverty, orphans and self sustainable living.  We are passionate about living on less than we make.   All of these are no accident…they all prepared me to be the person that I am today.  I needed to know how to parent and to teach.  I needed to know how a non-profit runs.  I needed to know how to run a business.  God has put this crazy desire to live off grid in me for a reason.  He guided us to adoption by no accident.  He put this absurd idea of living off less than you make in us because He knew that we would have to one day.  

I left for Uganda, my very first mission trip, just 11 months ago.  In just three months I will be leading my first mission trip, back to Uganda.  At times I feel very well equipped, knowing that I am doing what He led me to.  Other times I feel underqualified.  I don't have the acolades that others have had.  But I turn back to him, for wisdom and guidance.  While I don't know what it will look like in five or ten years, I do know that right now I am in the right place!

Where in the World have we been?

After many months of a blogging hiatus, I'm ready to get back into the groove of blogging!  I have so much to share and so much to say.  Honestly, I've been hesitant to write.  Not because I don't have anything to say, or that I'm so busy.  But because I have been too worried about what others will think.  Silly, I know.  Actually, if you know me I am quite the opposite in person.  There is something about writing on a public blog that has been intimidating me.  

Getting out of that mindset is a must!  It's not who I am!  So I'm here!  Let's start by a quick update.  

• We are MOVING!!!!  We will be moving to Germany in September for three years.
• I am tutoring part time and preparing to lead my first Short Term Mission Team to Uganda in July!
• Miles is getting VERY tall!  Obviously he has no choice (I'm 6' and B is 6'7")!  He is doing very well in school and in his gifted program and loves taking breakdancing lessons.
• Marley is about to turn three and looking more like a little girl than a toddler!  She is in speech and occupational therapy and it is going well.  
• Brandon's many roles keep him busy.  He is taking classes online and should graduate in the next year!  So proud of him! 

Stay tuned for a better blogger!

Pinterest Inspired...

Pinterest inspired…

Okay, Mom is tired!

Team Uganda 2012 Almost FULL!!!!

I'm about to explode with excitement!  Last week, Visiting Orphans told me that I could take 35 people on my trip to Uganda. I previously thought that 30 was a full team.  I thought, 35…hmmm I think that's doable!  Ha…doable, more like almost done!  As of today, I have 31 people signed up to join me in Uganda in July.  In SIX MONTHS!

If you have been thinkning about signing up, NOW IS THE TIME! Once this team is full, there will be a waiting list.  There is usually a couple of people, that for whatever reason, can't go and open up a few spots.  To get signed up for the July 21, 2012 Uganda trip, go here! To learn more about our trip and see the video of my trip to Uganda last summer, click here.

Do you want to go on a mission trip, but feel like now is not a good time?  I hope to be announcing another trip soon!  I plan on leading two mission trips a year.  Who knows where God will send me next!

How to Fund a Mission Trip

Last year when I was planning my mission trip, the cost was an overwhelming fear.  I knew I was suppossed to go.  I had all the divine confirmation I needed.  I had the overwhelming passion about orphans, the desire to help, and it's all I could talk or think about…this mission trip.  I knew that God wanted me to go.  There is no way He would put that desire in my heart and confirm it with His scripture and then not make it happen.


“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

After I signed up for my trip and paid the deposit, I did something I had never truly done before.  I told God that I was going to have complete faith wiht the fundraising!  I KNEW He wanted me to go on this trip, so I promised to have faith that He would get me there!  I also asked him to show me if I was starting to doubt Him and to quickly redirect me.  I also asked my friends and family to keep me accountable.  

I had to do my part, but I also needed to trust completly in Him to make it happen.  This wasn't easy.  I had failed miserably at having complete faith during the adoption of our daughter.  Waiting for over four years on "His perfect timing" was not easy, infact it was the most difficult and challenging thing I had ever encountered spiritually. Trusting Him with raising money for my mission trip was an opportunity to for me to learn to have complete faith in Him, to learn to ask for help and to grow spiritually in the process.

I am so thankful for that journey.  It taught me so many things, but most importantly that if and when you give up control and trust completely in Him…HE WILL COME THROUGH!  It's as if God was just waiting on me to stop doubting, worrying and being filled with fear, and just trust Him!    

If you are signed up or are considering signing up for a mission trip, I'm pretty sure that you are supposed to go. That desire in your heart is the first clue.  And His word is the second.  Pray that God would give you more confirmation.  For me, it was running into people that had been on a mission trip, an ad in a magazine, a burning desire to do something about it.  I would follow blogs and watch videos of others on short term mission trips and picture myself there.  

Fundraising for a mission trip can be very overwhelming.  It can be overwhelmingly scary.  Or it can be overwhelmingly amazing.  My past fundraising experience was overwelmingly amazing!  Thru my friends, family and strangers, I raised ALL of the money I need with EXCESS in just six weeks!  For real!  I blogged about it here.  I am no superwoman, or anything extrordinary.  I just chose to try something different, and I got different results!  

So if you have considered joining a mission team, please don't let money keep you from doing it!  I had one of the most memorable experiences of my life.  I saw Jesus in the children I loved on.  I fell in love with a country and it's people.  I grew deeper in my spiritual life and I learned that if we trust God, He will do miraculous things!  

I hope to lead two mission trips a year with Visiting Orphans.  This year, I am leading the following:

Ecuador (March 3-10, 2012)

Uganda (July 21-August 1)

Join me…really!  There are many spots still available for Ecuador and Uganda is filling up fast!  There will be a waiting list after the trip is full.  

Need a little more time?  No worries…I will have another two teams next year!  

The countries may vary, but the mission will never: to love, to serve, to give and to love some more!  

Ecuador…Here I Come!!!

I have recently been chosen to lead ANOTHER mission trip!  Yes, you read right!  Two in one year.  I am elated!  So I am headed to Ecuador in March and would LOVE for you to join me!  This is going to be a smaller group and we will only be in country for seven days.  If the Uganda trip is too much for you, this is the PERFECT trip!

Details: Ecuador teams will be working with two orphanages in Quito - loving on orphans who are desperate for love. There will also be a sightseeing day to experience the beauty of Ecuador.
Our missions teams do not go in with an agenda, they go in to serve and to love.  Often times on our trips  all you will do for hours on end is hold infants who need the love and attention they deserve, or play sports with a group of six year old boys until the sun goes down.  Other times you will work on construction or restoration projects for the actual building that houses the orphanage.  It will truly be a life-changing and unforgettable experience.


March 3-10, 2012
Quito, Ecuador

Here are some blog posts and a write up from some others who have recently traveled to Ecuador with a Visiting Orphans mission trip.

http://followinghimbyfaith.blogspot.com/2011/10/highs-and-lows-at-quito-orphanage.html

http://followinghimbyfaith.blogspot.com/2011/10/cristo-me-ama.html

http://followinghimbyfaith.blogspot.com/2011/10/couple-more-pics.html

http://followinghimbyfaith.blogspot.com/2011/10/heartbreaking-convicting-and-inspiring.html

http://followinghimbyfaith.blogspot.com/2011/10/adios-ecuador.html

Why I Didn't Want to Join Pinterest!

I am an information junkie!  There, I said it!  Seriously, I will research stuff until it's dark outside!  I just love information.  I also am an aspiring Martha Stewart!  In the past few months I have received more Pinterest invitations than I knew what to do with!  I did not need another time stealer.  But friends pushed me, and insisted that I would LOVE it!  Well guess what?  I joined and I'm hooked!  I've Repinned and Liked so many things and that if I got off of Pinterest long enough, I MIGHT just have time to try one of the projects or recipes….seriously!

So today I was checking on the newest popular pins and it gets really quiet…REALLY QUIET!  What did I find?

So thank you Pinterest for being so stinking cool that my child goes unsupervised (sarcasm attached)!  Now I just need to figure out how to get lotion out of my sofa…hmmm, maybe I can find some ideas on Pinterest, LOL!