July 13, 2011

Dads, Do The Little Things

This is Brandon again, I hope all is well.  I have a public service announcement for the dads!  First of all, I am very thankful for my family, and I absolutely enjoy being a father.  One thing I don't want to forget as a father is my role as a husband.  In my opinion, I think that an important part of fatherhood is how our children perceive us in our role as husbands to their mothers.  I know talked a little about this a little in the past, but now I want to drive it home.  This is for the FELLAS.  Back when Elisa and I were engaged,  a very wise man I know once told me that "The little things I did to get her, I had to do to keep her".  To me, I thought it was simple and great advice.  It made sense.  I have tried to ensure I follow this direction as best as possible, and after more than 10 years of marriage I think it has been well worth the effort.  My wife is happy, our marriage is healthy, and my kids do take notice.

Guys, this is just a friendly reminder to tell you to not get lazy in your marriage or relationships.  If you opened doors, brought her flowers, wrote her little love notes, and held her hand back when you were courting her (yes I said courting), then continue doing those things.  If you have gotten too comfortable and it has been awhile since you have done those types of things, then I want to encourage you to start again.  She may look at you funny at first, but do it anyway.  These little things help make her happy, these little things help make her feel secure.  These little things can help keep marriages healthy.

If you have not taken her on a date in awhile, then YOU need to call the babysitter yourself and schedule a date.  Take her somewhere new, or at least different than the norm…….don't go to the same place you always go to, make an adventure of it.  The point is to get you out of your comfort zone.  Elisa and I have kind of made it a point to try a new place every time we go on a date, and it is fun.  We can't afford to go on dates as often as we'd like (babysitters can get expensive!), but when have yet to run out of new places to go.  Try doing something with her that SHE likes to do.  Take her to a play, or to a movie/concert that she would enjoy.  If you show that you are willing to compromise, it should result in a win-win for all.  Remember, it is the little things.

Also, help in the house.  Wash dishes, or clothes, or both once in awhile.  Help with the kids evening routine, give her a break.  As a father, I am happy that my kids see me doing these types of things and helping my wife.  As they grow older, I want them to see that being a team is healthy for a relationship, and that "compromise" is one of the magic words of marriage.  So later on, if my son or daughter decides to marry, they will have a good template to follow and hopefully not become selfish, lazy or stagnate in their own marriages.  As a father, wouldn't you want the same thing for your kids?  So let's get back to doing the little things, because no matter how little they seem to you it can indeed make a difference.

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