May 17, 2009

10 Months Waiting

Waiting. How many times have I typed that word over the last year? Who knows? During the last week, I have really begun to do some soul searching. Honestly, it hasn't all been pretty. I have questioned why us? Why has this journey been so painful? Why do things keep getting put in our way? Why aren't our prayers answered? Yeah, that's the ugly.

My spiritual journey has been filled with waiting. Moments of doubt, but that longing has always been fulfilled. My needs and most wants have always been met. Not always in my time, but in due time. I think we have passed due time. I wouldn't know, because this would be our first time passing it. I say that sarcastically. We really feel like God has had favor in our lives. Real favor. We are tremendously blessed with a good income, homes, vehicles, friends and family, our marriage, Miles, our salvation. We have our Father's favor. But why not in this area? In other areas of my walk, I have had some pretty amazing stories of how things have come to pass. I look back and remember all the complaining I did, the frustration I felt, and then when it finally happened, I reflected and felt humiliated for the lack of faith I had. I had faith for big things, but didn't think that God would worry about the little things, but He does.

This journey, by far not little, has to come to be. This has been the longest we have waited for one of our requests to be met. We know that we were brought to adoption and we know that our daughter is in Ethiopia. How much longer do I need to consume with this? Seriously! In the adoption world, you always hear, "When you hold your baby for the first time, all those days of waiting just disappear and you just forget how horrible it was, not knowing." Well right now, I say "yeah right." I know there will be a day when I get to say that, although I'm not sure I will. I just can't wait to join the "we have our child" group, and quit the "we are still waiting" group. I love my waiting family, you know who you are, and I know you know how I feel and can't wait to join that group too.

Our daughter has a birth family. Our blog started praying for her and her birth family. Our daughter is coming to us through a tragedy in her life. It would be selfish of me to want that part to happen. I don't want that for any child. However, it exists and it's real. I know that she has been born and probably is already in an orphanage or our agencies transition home by now. She may have already lost her mother. I don't yet know her situation and may never share it. Our strong desire to have her here is to give her that love and provide for her needs.

So I'm claiming this week! This is the week that we find out who our daughter is. It HAS to be! So, our prayer request list returns. I hear people say, and I am so guilty of this too, that they are praying for us, or will pray for us. We often say this when someone is faced with a difficulty, illness or something. To fill that awkward silence, we say "I'm praying for you," or maybe we do mean it genuinely. But how often do we really do it, how often to we really pray for them? I am challenging myself to act on this. When someone needs or requests prayer, I am working on stopping what I am doing and praying right then. For my praying friends, I challenge you to do the same.

Please be praying for:
  • Our referral of our daughter THIS WEEK
  • Our daughter's health, and that her needs be met
  • For the Courts in Ethiopia to resolve the abandoned child issue quickly and effectively
  • A court date before the courts close this summer
  • Our renewed faith, that our hope is restored, better attitudes
  • The families whose children's cases are on hold, resolve their cases quickly and comfort those families


Breann said...

Hi Elisa, I found you through the Yahoo chat.
We are 7 months and waiting... and I completely agree. It's easy to say the time will seemingly disappear when you are not waiting. I have and will continue to pray for you and your family. I hope you get your referral this week and your transition is smooth. Good luck

Justine said...

Elisa - I'm calling it too! THIS WEEEK!! I can't say that the wait has been erased for us (but I still remember labor pains). I do know that what everyone says is true. You are waiting for YOUR daughter and the timing won't matter because you would wait years just for her. It's hard to believe but I wouldn't change anything about the path we took because our little "M" is the one for us.

I'm praying for you and am waiting for my phone to ring THIS WEEK!!

Dara Kinder said...

Your family is in my thoughts & prayers. We haven't even officially begun the process and it's already testing, I can't imagine all the emotions you must be going through at this stage.

Missy said...

Beautiful post, Elisa! I never thought we would see ten months on our timelines!! UGH...

Alida and Geno said...

Eliza, I have just prayed and asked God to bless you this week and to let you know who your daughter is, and for her to be healthy. I also prayed for all the other things you had listed, I will continue to pray for you everytime I remember this whole week. I promise you.
I'm with you girl. Hang in there.

Erin Sager said...

Ring phone Ring.........