November 10, 2009

My Silly Doubt

Many times in my life's journey I have doubted people. I have wanted things in my time and in my way. Oh how I have questioned God and His divine purpose for my life, His will and His timing. Then I get a big fat I told you so thrown in my face. Okay, so it's not that dramatic. It's more of a loving reminder that He is in control. I soooooo don't like hearing that. It's true, I know it, but please PLEASE don't remind me. I get it....lol. So back to my silly doubt.
If you are new to my blog, a new blog stalker, welcome! For y'all seasoned folk, you know I get all emotional, complain and then WHAM, we are given His favor and then I feel so grateful and a little embarrassed. Recently, I was worried about travel arrangements and childcare. Our original travel date was postponed by two weeks. It sucked, I complained. Then things started to fall into place. We were assigned a new travel date, which happened to be better for Brandon to take off of work, My in-laws are able to come up and take care of Miles, and we get to spend Thanksgiving in Ethiopia! Silly me. I doubted God's timing, His plan and then He showed me...lol.
I am a work in progress. He is teaching me everyday. Recently, I've had a new worry. I haven't shared it with anyone. It's just been something that I secretly was worried about. My last post was asking for donations for Marley's orphanage. I didn't want to bother people with this, it's just something that we are passionate about. The last thing I wanted to do was guilt someone into helping out. I wanted to offer the opportunity to others to share in the blessing of giving. I know not everyone is passionate about our passion, I just wanted to put it out there. So right after I hit post on my blog, I immediately felt worry. Worry what people were going to think about me asking for orphanage donations, worrying if anyone would respond, worried about how we would make up the difference if no one offered anything. In a little way, I doubted that anyone would want to help, so I guess I doubted God for making this happen. We are allowed four 50lbs. bags, before additional fees, and I worried that we wouldn't have enough to meet that....haha! Oh my silly doubt!
So I have received emails from other adoptive parents, who are mailing items. I have friends of friends gathering things and buying medications. It touches me, it sincerely touches me. I am again wondered at the way God works in/through people to get things done. And I am again embarrassed to have doubted it!

4 comments:

Gretchen Magruder said...

God is sooooo good!!

Angela said...

I'm with CHI too. I've been so busy, I haven't had time to figure out if you had an email address to donate items. I thought of you and your donation list yesterday.

Do you have room or need for anything else...maybe something small like medication?

Christina Hubbard said...

You are such a blessing!! I have been reading your blog for a long while now and you have helped me see I am not alone. I find myself doing the same things and then...There HE is showing me once again...HE has it all taken care of! We too are being so blessed by family and friends who are collecting for our little guys orphanage. God is truly amazing!

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