Well because we are human! My husband, who thinks I'm such a godly woman...lol, wonders why I struggle with this. I lol because I strive to be more like Him, but I fail and I sin because I am human, and I am honored that my husband sees me as godly, but boy do I have a way to go!
Anyways, I worry. I worry about my son's saftey at the park. I don't let him climb the monkey bars because he might fall. I don't let him play in the front yard period, there could be a predator, a fast car, a horrible influence of a child just waiting to teach Miles some bad word. I worry for Brandon's safety while he drives back and forth to Ingleside everyday. If he doesn't answer his phone I think he's lying in a ditch somewhere...lol! Well I guess that's not real funny, but whatever.
So recently, my life has been filled with things to worry about. Our move to Missouri, buying a new house, renting out our first house, finding a place to live for the month in between when our renters moving in and the acutal move to MO., the effects a move will take on a three year old, finding a new church, if I'll have time to till my new vegetable garden before the fall, decorating and where to put everything, what will our new neighbors think of an interacial family moving into an all white town...HERE WE COME WILLARD...LOL! And finally our adoption.
I know, I'm making this long, but there is purpose my friends! I want you to know me. Well most of you do already and are like, "tell me something I don't know." Worrying is my biggest sin! There, it's out.
So many, many times God has shown me that He's got it! I worried when my wedding ring was stolen. Many of you remember me whoaing about it. I secretly thought to myself that if I complained enough that someone would feel sorry for me and give me some kind of a discount, or just plop a new diamond on my hand. Well that was the selfish me thinking I needed to fix the problem and not trusting God. He knew this was going to happen, even before Brandon and I met. He knew the outcome and just laid back trying to teach me a lesson. Well it turned out that someone we knew, who had the exact ring that I did, got divorced and sold it to Brandon for the exact amount our insurance gave us, $500. I worried about loosing my wedding ring, and in my mind I thought I had the right to moan and complain. But now I look back and realized that I should have found joy and trusted Him.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith devellops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2
Well since then I have grown and have learned. But you all know I still worry!
So, as I type, we are preparing our house for the movers to pack us and move our stuff out in three days. Miles has surgery the day after we become homeless. We do not leave Corpus Christi until July 18th. Honestly, I was a bit worried about our living situation for a month, but not too much. So a friend of mine, Sweet Annie, offered her home for a week while they are on vacation. Then one of my best friends, Julie, heard about it and offered her 10 acre farm for a week while they are on vacation over the 4th, AND Miles gets to feed the animals everyday! So just last night, we were looking at our calendar and trying to figure out the details of where we were going to stay inbetween the two weeks. The military does reimburse us for hotels (up to $83 a night for up to 10 nights). Well in Corpus, right now is peak vacation season and $83 doesn't get much, but we'd figure it out. Still not having any reservations, yet another friend, Tiffany, emails us needing to leave out of town and do some house hunting, and offered her home (with pool....yeah!) for a few days! WHY DO WE WORRY?
We are so blessed with some of the greatest people. Close friends and new friends.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6, 7
When anxiety was great within me , your consolation brought peace to my soul. Psalm 94:19
So while our lives are going to be a bit crazy, I'm giving up worrying, yeah I know it's in writing! He has shown us, in little ways and in big, that He is in control and loves us and wants to provide for us and meet our needs, if we only just trust Him!
Notice...I'm not worrying about adoption right now....see I am growing!